Air Turbulence? Like Everything Else, Blame Climate Change

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Since the dawn of time, air turbulence has existed. Fred Flintstone was a pilot when he encountered turbulence.

Turbulence is something you have probably experienced if you have ever been on an airplane. It’s usually a slight jolt followed by the illumination of the “fasten your seatbelts” sign and an announcement from the captain.

This is Captain Bob. I am Captain Bob. We are heading into bumpy terrain so I have turned on the fastener seatbelt sign. Please get back to your seat as soon as possible.

Anybody who claims they have flown without being impacted by turbulence is a lying pony soldier.

Turbulence can be caused by many factors, but “climate change” is not one of the top 20 reasons. This is regardless of what alarmists claim. It is not on the list, but there is no reason to attribute it to the same feeling that passengers and fliers have experienced since the Wrights flew over Kitty Hawk’s windy beach.

I spent approximately 2 minutes Google-ing “turbulence” & “passenger injuries.” One example in 1983 resulted in severe injuries due to clear air turbulence. We were only a few years away from the predictions of an ice age in 1983. If I spent more time, I could find thousands of matches to my search query. Turbulence is bad for passengers. Turbulence caused people to get out of their seats against something hard.

36 people were injured when a December flight to Hawaii was impacted by turbulence. One witness described the incident as a sudden, severe, and unexpected loss of control of the aircraft. Yahoo News published an article blaming “climate change.”

Scientists believe that climate change could make such events more common in the future.

“Severe weather increases the likelihood of turbulence and due to climate changes, these types of incidents will only increase.”

This terrible revelation is coming from who? Ann Taylor Garland, a woman. Ann Taylor Garland is the spokesperson for a union of flight attendants. She holds a communication degree. Flight attendants would be a great source of information about climate change predictions, as I have often believed. This, and peanuts.

A friend of mine used to be an airline flight attendant. She shared her worst experiences with turbulence. She mentioned flights to Asia, Australia and Hawaii. I asked her if climate change was to blame. She smiled and offered me peanuts. Okay, she didn’t actually offer peanuts to me, but she smiled and said no to the climate cultist. I called my flight attendant expert to cancel Garland’s opinion.

A linked article cites Paul Williams as the only sciency-guy Yahoo News mentions. Although I doubt this Williams is the actor who played Smokey and Bandit’s short-sighted role, it could be. This Williams made bold predictions. It is possible that it could happen in 25 years… perhaps, we will be tossed about by turbulence for 20 minutes between New York City and London instead of 10. What is his evidence? Williams claimed that he had run some “computer simulations.”

“Williams believes climate change is altering turbulence and began studying the subject in 2013.”

A flight attendant president said:

There have been flight attendants who were thrown to the ceiling and back again several times. This has left them with broken limbs. People lost their toes in the aisle due to unannounced turbulence.

Nelson states that the aviation industry is very serious about the issue, but the transition from fossil fuel to renewable energy must be accelerated to address the climate crisis. Some regulations also need to be changed. Children under two years old should be able to fly on their parent’s laps.

Nelson states, “That’s totally dangerous and our union has been calling to have a seat for everyone on board.” “A child can be thrown around in the cabin and they can also hurt another person when they come down.”

My greatest fear was flying with crying children. That and an adult who looks like 350 pounds of well-chewed bubblegum next to me. Do you see kids as missiles?

Today you learned something. Climate change is causing flying missile kids. One thing I know is that everything can be linked to climate change. These are the rules.