God Please Protect and Help Us Survive Joe Biden’s Plan

0
482

The country is in dire need of someone who can articulate an alternative economic message that is centered on hope, growth, and opportunity. This is what I refer to as a Kempian Reagan “morality and prosperity” message. One that is inclusive and not exclusive. One that unites and inspires, not divides. A Kennedyesque vision or a “rising tide lifts every boat” message. This is the kind of message that can be used to give the nation something to rally around.

This was what American presidents used to do. JFK obviously did, Reagan did, Roosevelt did…It’s a bipartisan tradition.

Just before midnight PST, an opinion piece in the Wall Street Journal, ghostwritten by Joseph R. Biden Jr. (aka President of United States), hit the wires. It was entitled “My Plan for Fighting Inflation.”

Despite my best efforts, which included a tall glass and two-day-old chocolate doughnuts in the hopes that I might gain some consciousness, the weekend spent driving the family around while I endured Biden’s price rise economy was too much for me. I had to go to bed. I did not scan the piece before realizing that Mr. Biden had presented a three-part plan to the nation.

So I fell asleep and couldn’t wait to get up to read it. It was everything I hoped it would be.

First, the president will ask the Federal Reserve for help with inflation. Evidently, the ghost and Mr. Biden also think that the Federal Reserve is important. They should be because they are the first of a three-part “plan to fight inflation.” The ghost does not explain what Mr. Biden will tell the Federal Reserve other than to fight inflation. Keep watching for more details.

The ghost also said that Biden agreed with this — let’s just say Joe, who has signed the op-ed, agrees with the ghost. The ghost and Joe agree that we must take every practical step to make it more affordable for families in this time of economic uncertainty.

Now, I’m no philosopher. Although I did complete a semester in logic at college. It seems logical that the second section of the plan to fight inflation should have been the first. They can make it more affordable for American families if they do that, then they have solved the problem of “inflation” as Biden calls it. There is no need to add a third step. In fact, there is no need for the first one. It doesn’t really matter that the first step is silly and pointless.

You should always provide at least three parts when selling a plan to Americans. It sounds so much better. It’s as if you thought about it more. That’s what all the pollsters will tell. One-part plans sound half-baked. You need to have multiple parts. The ideal is three. While four is fine, you may lose some people.

However, since this stuff is almost like a catnip to me, I couldn’t wait for the next part.

The ghost did not disappoint. The third is to stop greedy corporations from offshoring jobs. The third part is to ensure billionaires pay their fair share in taxes. We all know that a single mother in Carpinteria or Santa Maria fills up her car at the station and pays $6.79 per gallon. What she is really concerned about is Jeff Bezos paying her fair share of taxes so that instead him being worth $150 billion, it will only be $125 billion. To be fair to Biden and the ghost, the third portion of the plan includes something for her.

The ghost’s third plan to fight inflation involves more money for IRS so that they have the resources necessary to collect taxes Americans owe. Did you get that? Did you get that?

This abomination was written for the president by someone I don’t know. It’s hard to tell if this was a ghost from Christmas past or a ghost from Christmas future. But it is painfully obvious that the president doesn’t understand what’s going on here and now. Never in all my 35 years of watching politics has I ever seen a president as out of touch. Joe has a plan and I can only say: God bless us all.