Identity Woke Stupor In Sweet Song About Bird Gender


To all those who believe neopronouns belong to birds: They are wrong for once.

According to Twitter’s Libs Of TikTok, a user called Camryn delivers gendered information: If you have a big beak or are toothless, a special identification’s for you.

Take flight on the wings of wakefulness

“Hi, my name is Camryn and I am a member of our DID (Dissociative Identification Disorder) system.”

Camryn is close to Avery, a chick named Avery.

“So Avery is a bird and I am a bird. Avery is a bluejay and I am a cardinal”.

The pair “like ‘ey/em/eir’ pronouns,” because they “feel even further removed from gender than ‘they/them/theirs.’”

Plus…they’re birds:

“And birds are not born with a particular gender. We have our own gender expressions, but we don’t have any inherently. We’re not just nonbinary. It’s because, like, our species, as an avian-human hybrid, don’t inherently have any type of gender.”

It is a true revolution.

“So you use them just like singular pronouns, like ‘he/him’ or ‘she/her.’”

How can one accurately refer to egg-laying mothers when writing about them?

“Spelling- and pronunciation-wise, it’s like ‘they/them/theirs’ without the ‘th’ at the beginning.”

Camryn won’t use “personal pronouns” for herself because they are, perplexingly, not “personal”. However, for you, it is crucial to practice:

“So the best way, I think, to practice is to write out, um, a couple of short sentences using, like, ‘him,’ ‘his,’ and ‘himself.’ And then go back through and erase all of those pronouns and fill them in with ‘ey/em/eir/eirself.’”

There is no doubt that there is robust rehearsal; traditional communication has been removed from the national nest.

The bright side is that we are all free birds. The world is your oyster when it comes to identity. You might even be the oyster of the world.

I propose a radical conclusion to our evolutionary cultural track: If progress flies beyond birds and binaries, beyond all boundaries of being …’til each one of us is completely gender-free, what if it does?

If we happen to perch on that futuristic ledge by chance, it will have a name ready to ride the winds: “Mundanity” was the word used from the time Adam and Eve up until 2018. This is because that’s how the system worked. Dare we become again so advanced as to go back where we were before we were made new?

Keep your hat on, we can do it!

In the meantime, if I might say so, Camryn’s crowing on the wrong app. “TikTok” is the sound of a clock, and eirself is a bonafide bird. A bird has no business TikToking — unless, of course, she’s a cuckoo.

It’s time to migrate to Twitter, Camryn; after all, everyone knows birds tweet.