A young male, who formerly identified as a transwoman, who was castrated and became a “patient for life” as part of “gender-affirming care,” wants to warn others not to follow in his footsteps. He discussed his story of resilience and learning to accept himself for who he is for the first time.
Kobe, whose name is withheld in order to protect his privacy, “checked off all the boxes” for what they refer to as trans adolescents. He was “effeminate” and loved Barbies, pink, and other feminine things. He claims that if gender ideologies had not been introduced to him, he “would have just stayed a girl-boy.” “There’s nothing wrong with that”.
“I felt unlovable as an effeminate man in society and everything. A feminine boy, actually. I was never a man, I’m trying to reclaim my manhood now and everything. It’s hard. I have breasts, I have the hip development of a woman because I started the estrogen young. I have no gonads. You know, it’s hard. My skull never really masculinized.”
Kobe, in retrospect, sees the medical interventions as subconscious “self-harm.” He struggled to internalize homosexuality during his early teenage years. ”
He did not know about these facts until he had his surgery.
Kobe: “I was stuck in my transformation… but everything started to crack and I couldn’t overlook the complications. It’s just self-harm. You know. ”
Kobe first learned about the idea of gender change via YouTube.
“And I said, ‘Oh, you can do that.’ “It’s not like I need to be gay. ”
Kobe told his parents that he was transgender at age 11. Kobe said that transgenders had told him to play the suicide card to get chemical treatment.
I began to use suicide tactics because they taught us how. It’s not clear if the groom is a proper term, but I think it’s a thing. Older trans people probably taught us this stuff to get health care. It was all in my head. ”
Kobe started taking puberty-blocking drugs and estrogen at age 16, followed by castration surgery at 19.
It didn’t help me at all. “I wasted my time and became a patient for life, said the man.
Kobe’s growth is “permanently stunted” due to the puberty blockers. He also has chronic back pain.
He said: “I need to get checked for osteoporosis because I am experiencing severe back pain that extends up to my spinal cord.”
Bone mineral density is associated with puberty blockers.
Kobe claims that the blockers didn’t just stop his growth. They “suppressed” your “life”, “your desire for anything,” and “your joy.”
I lost a lot of sexual function. Kobe says that the hormone treatment caused him to lose much sensation in his lower abdominal area. ”
Kobe said that the estrogen, which is a trans-sex hormone, had affected his cognition. He said that the estrogen he was taking had caused it.
It’s constant fog. “I was psychotic for some time. ”
Kobe’s eating disorder was caused by his altered metabolism as a result of taking hormone drugs.
“And being unable to keep the weight off with blockers and other things. ”
He describes how his doctors glamorized surgical procedures.
He stated, “The plan was always estrogen followed by SRS. The SRS procedure reverses the male genitalia and creates a neovagina, which must be dilated for the rest of a patient’s life.
The letter of approval for the surgery stated that Kobe’s hormone replacement therapy was successful and that he is happier and more stable.
“None of it was true. I wasn’t mentally stable. I resented myself. It was terrible. I tried to be someone I wasn’t. I lost my train of thought because I was distracted by estrogen.
The cancellation was due to a medical insurance issue. Kobe viewed testosterone as “poison” at the time.
He said: “I was deluded. I thought testosterone is poisonous and harmful. ”
Kobe remembers being told by doctors, that an orchiectomy could be beneficial to him as he awaited SRS.
“It did not, I am now sterile and do not have an endocrine system.” ” It does, but it doesn’t regulate and all that. ”
Kobe, who has no gonads, will have to take testosterone artificially for the rest of his life. He began doing this just recently.
He said “Honestly, I feel alive again.” after taking testosterone. ”
He said that the area was still tender after the operation and that he felt random sharp pains. Kobe also has problems urinating, especially when intimate.
“I don’t think this is going to be a problem ever again,” he said. “I made a decision. ”
I don’t think I would be alive after two years if they inverted my male genitalia to make it look like female genitalia. This is irreversible.
Kobe’s family accepted him and “passed” him off as a woman. He was still unhappy after all the interventions.
He said: “I spent a long time in denial, and I think many people do this before de-transitioning. ” He then went a step further and examined the whole ideology.
I realized that it was absurd. People said trans women had periods, that they should play women’s sports, and have their male genitalia exposed in the women’s locker room. Trans women were also told to be placed in women’s prisons.
Kobe loves science. Kobe dreams of becoming a veterinarian.
I will study biology for a year and then switch to zoology. “I want to work with endangered species. I’m reconnecting with the things I loved before I got sucked into all of this. I had no hobbies or interests. ”
When asked about what he wants people to know about him, Kobe said, “I just want [people] to know that I am strong. I see myself as very strong for what I went through. I’m a pretty compassionate person. I do care about kids that are suffering from gender dysphoria and everything. And I think that they deserve help. But I don’t think that that helps.”
